Katie Does News

Katie Couric replaced Dan Rather tonight as the anchor of CBS Evening News. Her arrival to replace Mr. Rather has been rather high profile news in itself. Rather than keep Dan’s replacement a surprise, CBS chose to spin its own news, creating umpteen photo ops, interviews, and rather drab retrospectives on Ms. Couric’s illustrious career as a newswoman. I’d rather watch someone like my Idoia or Pamela David, an Argentine talk show host. America’s rather fond of candy-coating its news, so why not with a more interesting host? I bet ratings would skyrocket, grow larger, swell, surge… well, you get the idea.

Katie ended her debut broadcast just now with a little montage (even Rocky had a montage) showcasing her indecisiveness about what her unique sendoff each night should be. Edward R. Murrow had “good night, and good luck,” which in our day and age is probably the most apropos farewell and Cronkite told it like it was. Idoia and I came up with a couple of suggestions for Katie:

• That’s it, we’re all screwed.
• Another day, another $.40 after taxes.
• Our news is the best news.
• I’m outta here America, my heavy upper lip makeup is beginning to crack.
• I hope you’ve enjoyed tonight’s propaganda.