Television
You are looking at posts in the category Television.
Pages
Looks like...
Categories
Influential
Superior OS
Bridezillas - An Open Letter to We Network
Posted on October 10th, 2006 by Chris.
Filed under: Chris' Stuff, Rant, Television.
Dear We Network,
I want to let you know how I feel about Bridezillas, your show about bitchy brides on their way to the altar.
My wife and I’ve been married for just over a year, and she’s recently gotten interested in your show. She has a Masters degree in English Literature, and her thesis was on reality television and its impacts on society and culture. For what it’s worth, we both agree on the following about your show, and this email won’t even begin to plumb the rhetorical, philosophical depths of our collective (reasonably informed and educated) opinions of Bridezilla.
I understand that your bottom line is what counts, and making money is pretty much the only thing of concern in the board meetings where these shows are conceived and planned. The fact that these shows are popular, and your advertisers pay top dollar (maybe) for spots during this show are key to your decision making process, is very much understood and (for lack of a better term) appreciated.
However, the message you send to America is that shallow, obsessive, asshole women are worthy of attention, the spotlight, and your camera’s focus. Following them, encouraging them with attention, cameras and lights, does nothing but perpetuate what is undoubtedly the media’s influence on such horrific statistics as the divorce rate in America, and not remotely what the rest of the world thinks of Americans. Y’know what, with programming like this, and the messages that it sends, the rest of the world is right: Americans, as you promote them, are shallow, shitty, financially irresponsible, pathetic, prickish idiots that deserve the short, statistically unstable and miserably short marriages that they get.
I think it’s abhorable that for the sake of a buck, We Network has succumbed to the status quo, surrendered to the almighty buck and wantonly perpetuates promotion of people being absurdly self-centered, impatient and frankly disgusting individuals. Thanks for fucking up America even more than it already is.
It is, however, rather entertaining.
Sympathy Shits for Joe Paterno
Posted on September 24th, 2006 by Chris.
Filed under: Chris' Stuff, Sports, Television.
Last night we saw the Florida Gators beat the Kentucky Wildcats. They didn’t play as well as I would’ve liked, but they did win, bringing their season to 4-0. Good times.
We watched the game with some friends at Buffalo Wild Wings Grill & Grill. That’s how it’s listed in Google.
Since Troy and I have the typical testosterone-driven tendency to try and out-whatever each other, it was no surprise that we simultaneously looked at one another while perusing the menu, and quietly understood that we were going to sample their hottest wings.
Katie Does News
Posted on September 5th, 2006 by Chris.
Filed under: Chris' Stuff, News, Television.
Katie Couric replaced Dan Rather tonight as the anchor of CBS Evening News. Her arrival to replace Mr. Rather has been rather high profile news in itself. Rather than keep Dan’s replacement a surprise, CBS chose to spin its own news, creating umpteen photo ops, interviews, and rather drab retrospectives on Ms. Couric’s illustrious career as a newswoman. I’d rather watch someone like my Idoia or Pamela David, 
an Argentine talk show host. America’s rather fond of candy-coating its news, so why not with a more interesting host? I bet ratings would skyrocket, grow larger, swell, surge… well, you get the idea.
Katie ended her debut broadcast just now with a little montage (even Rocky had a montage) showcasing her indecisiveness about what her unique sendoff each night should be. Edward R. Murrow had “good night, and good luck,” which in our day and age is probably the most apropos farewell and Cronkite told it like it was. Idoia and I came up with a couple of suggestions for Katie:
- That’s it, we’re all screwed.
- Another day, another $.40 after taxes.
- Our news is the best news.
- I’m outta here America, my heavy upper lip makeup is beginning to crack.
- I hope you’ve enjoyed tonight’s propaganda.
Wilford Brimley Moustache Hinders Diabetes Pronunciation
Posted on September 2nd, 2006 by Chris.
Filed under: Absurd, Chris' Stuff, Television.
It has been determined by a non-scientific study, conducted by yours truly, that everyone’s favorite television grandpa, Wilford Brimley, actually does pronounce “diabetes” correctly… with a long E. His awesome handlebar moustache, is the culprit.
Fox News gets an enema
Posted on September 1st, 2006 by Chris.
Filed under: Chris' Stuff, News, Television.
Earlier this afternoon, I’m eating my steak grilled stufft burrito and flipping through the news. No more than 30 seconds of watching, I nearly puke my burrito all over the coffee table when Martha McCallum, reading for the viewers (because they’re blind and/or stupid, watching Fox News) a graphical analysis of some American opinion poll about Iran, says, and I’m not making this up: “61 percent of Americans feel they should not tell their enemas when they’ll be leaving.” She quickly corrected herself, and managed to keep a straight face. I however, had trouble swallowing my lunch I was laughing so hard.