A nun approaches Mother Superior and say, “Mother, I must make confession to you. I have used the Lord’s name in vain, and used all manner of foul language.”
“Go on, Sister, tell me what happened,” says Mother Superior.
.
.
“Well, I was playing golf last week, and must say without pride that I was having one of the best rounds of my life. After 16 holes, Mother, I was 3 under par and playing marvelously. However, on the 17th tee, a very long and treacherous par 5, the number one handicap hole on the course, I teed off and the shot was, at first, blessed. Its trajectory was flawless, travelling upwards into the heavens, and then the ball struck a telephone wire strung across the fairway.”
“Is that when you used foul language, Sister?”
“No, Mother, not yet. The ball fell straight down, but just before it landed in the fairway, a squirrel dashed from the rough and snatched the ball in mid-air. Upon landing, it looked at me briefly and began to ran perpendicularly across the fairway, heading towards the adjacent hole.”
“That is when you used the Lord’s name in vain?” asks Mother Superior.
“No Mother, I hadn’t sinned yet. As the squirrel ran with the ball, an eagle miraculously swept down from the heavens and grabbed the squirrel, taking flight with it down the fairway towards the green,” continued the repentant nun.
“This then, is when you cursed?”
“Still not yet, Mother. As the eagle flew, the squirrel let go of the ball, which landed on some rocks bordering the green. The ball bounced very high in the air, and landed on the green. It rolled approximately six feet from the pin, where it came to rest.”
Mother Superior looks sternly at the confessing nun and says, “You missed the fucking putt, didn’t you.”
on Nov 29th, 2007 at 4:46 pm
I am glad to find this forum!
http://danuegonax.com
The Author, you – genius…
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on Mar 19th, 2008 at 2:34 am
How do you do…
http://antergerd.com
Excellent site with fantastic references and reading…. well done indeed…!
Congratulations!
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on Oct 7th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Hi!
I want to extend my SQL capabilities.
I red really many SQL books and want to
get more about SQL for my occupation as oracle database manager.
What would you recommend?
Thanks,
Werutz
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on Oct 7th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Dear Werutz — RTFM
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on Oct 23rd, 2008 at 12:04 pm
There was this guy see.
He wasn’t very bright and he reached his adult life without ever having learned “the facts”.
Somehow, it gets to be his wedding day.
While he is walking down the isle, his father tugs his sleeve and says,
“Son, when you get to the hotel room…Call me”
Hours later he gets to the hotel room with his beautiful blushing bride and he calls his father,
“Dad, we are the hotel, what do I do?”
“O.K. Son, listen up, take off your clothes and get in the bed, then she should take off her clothes and get in the bed, if not help her. Then either way, ah, call me”
A few moments later…
“Dad we took off our clothes and we are in the bed, what do I do?”
O.K. Son, listen up. Move real close to her and she should move real close to you, and then… Ah, call me.”
A few moments later…
“DAD! WE TOOK OFF OUR CLOTHES, GOT IN THE BED AND MOVED REAL CLOSE, WHAT DO I DO???”
“O.K. Son, Listen up, this is the most important part. Stick the long part of your body into the place where she goes to the bathroom.”
A few moments later…
“Dad, I’ve got my foot in the toilet, what do I do?”
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on Nov 1st, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Test message
Sorry me noob…
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on Dec 13th, 2008 at 8:40 am
Thanks!,
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on Feb 17th, 2009 at 11:29 pm
Новый способ давления на кандидата на пост Главы г. Химки
Новый способ “наказать” тех, кто посмел участвовать в выборной кампании не на стороне действующей власти изобрели правоохранительные органы г.о. Химки.
Руководствуясь не нормой закона, а чьей-то “волей” сотрудники милиции решили “проверить” все фирмы, внесшие денежные средства в избирательный фонд неудобных кандидатов.
Начались “проверки” с телефонных звонков – где директор, сколько человек работает на фирме. После чего последовали “письма счастья” с просьбой предоставить всю бухгалтерскую документацию, учредительные документы фирмы, и даже, план экспликации БТИ.
Такие запросы химкинским фирмам рассылает 1 отдел Оперативно-розыскной части № 9 Управления по налоговым преступлениям ГУВД Московской области за подписью начальника подполковника милиции Д.В. Языкова.
И всё это в то время, когда Президент дал прямое указание правоохранительным органам о прекращении всех незаконных проверок малого и среднего бизнеса. С это целью внесены изменения в Федеральный закон “О милиции” – из статьи 11 этого закона исключены пункты 25 и 35, на основании которых ранее правоохранительные органы имели право проверять финансово-хозяйственную деятельность предприятий.
Видно, об изменениях действующего законодательства местные правоохранительные органы не уведомлены. И не смотрят телепередачи с выступлениями Президента.
Может быть, эта публикация подвигнет их к исполнению указаний Президента, а также к изучению и соблюдению действующего законодательства
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on Apr 21st, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Hey Everyone
I just joined this forum.
Great work forum crew!
Just recently I read that there is a cure for diabetes on http://www.healthcaredaily.org
Can diabetes seriously be cured? The source looks like a reliable healthcare news website
Has anyone tried beating diabetes this way?
Thanks a lot
WepCheets
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on May 27th, 2009 at 8:46 am
Вот именно поэтому и иногда не хочется идти вперёд!
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on Jun 30th, 2009 at 7:42 pm
Круто написано! Надобыотметить на БобрДобр.
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