The Greatest Music. Ever.

IMPORTANT

• I have just been signed to perform at Carnegie Hall and a nationally broadcast episode of Austin City Limits.
• My singing defines a new type of sound, previously unknown to man. It features modulations and tonal characteristics thought only to exist in one’s dreams of “the perfect singing voice.”
• I’ll be on Oprah on February 2, Good Morning America on the 3rd, and The Megan Mullally Show on the 10th. Set your DVRs now.
• In honor of a request by Bob Weir to “sit in for Jerry” on their next Dead tour, I’ll be out of the office from March 2nd through September 15th.
• I have a staff of 3 opening fan mail.
• 10 minutes ago, Google’s CEO just called and bid $3.4 million for Gkikas.com. I flatly (but professionally) refused this lowball offer and the attorneys are working on a deal.
• The forthcoming album, working-titled, “Greatest Hit” has presold more copies than the #1 album on the Denmark music charts.
• Since the bullet point before last, I see an email from Paramount with the subject line, “Movie rights.”
• Seriously.

Edit: I found a video that typifies singing slightly better than mine.